Take Heart

Most of the time I'm a pretty upbeat lady. I am cheerful and optimistic and generally a happy person. However, I will confess to a bit of discouragement lately. I've noticed that even though I've been here a while there is still so much I don't know. I found myself passing up patrons, sending them to other missionaries, fearing that I wouldn't be able to help them enough. I found the joy in my work diminishing as I focused on my limitations. Before discouragement turned to full on depression I decided to take it to the Lord. Confessing my feelings and weaknesses, I pleaded for help.

The next day was my temple and research day, but before I left the library I was able to work with a lady who wanted to find her grandmother. I was able to help her find many things about her family. She was so moved that she actually cried as I showed her documents about her grandmother and other ancestors. Then I showed her how to find more. As I left she hugged me and thanked me for helping her find her family. I said a silent prayer of thanks for the gift of this lovely patron when I really needed it.

And just to show you that I know God answers prayers in wondrous ways, the mail brought a card that evening. It was from a somewhat troubled young man I had worked with a few weeks earlier. He wrote:

"Sister Demke,

Thank you so much! I was the young man who you helped research his biological father's genealogical information. I really felt a great spirit doing this and your service really helped me think about my life. I have a lot to improve on still. I'm not at the appropriate point in my life where I could do his work yet, but I vow to before I go someday. Please continue to do what you do and redeem those who cannot do it for themselves. God Bless you."

So! Life is hard, Get over it! Forget yourself and go to work! God is mindful of us and sends his tender mercies when we need them. I realize I don't know it all, but I know enough to be of service.

Every time I go to the temple, or to church and hear people praying for the missionaries I am reminded that we are included in that large and diverse community. With so much faith behind us we will surely succeed.

Faith

We recently passed the six month mark of our missionary service. This shocked me a little at first because in many ways I still feel like a greenie. There is so much that I still don't know. There is literally not a day that passes that I don't learn something new. But this milestone got me thinking about what brought us here and the incredible and unanticipated blessings we have received as missionaries.

It was a little over a year ago, when in response to humble and sincere inquiry, we received the inspiration to serve a full time mission. Before that, it had not even entered my mind. Nevertheless, having asked for, and received, guidance, I was determined to do what the Lord wanted. We had no idea where we would be sent, or what we would be called upon to do, only that the Lord wanted us to serve a mission, so with a leap of faith we visited with our leaders, filled in papers, got medical and dental work done, and waited to see what would happen. I really had no family history experience, so I wondered what good I could possibly do here, or what David could do, but again, with faith we accepted our calls and moved to Salt Lake City.

Well, it didn't take long for the miracles to start. President Simmons, who had at first assured me that they wanted me, but had no use for David, called and apologized (this is a former seventy, a mission president, apologizing to me) and said that they indeed wanted both of us to serve in the mission. Then I was introduced to Elder Rumsey whose son Ford was a special young man working in the Church Office Building Cafeteria. Ford just happened to be leaving for his home in Texas soon, leaving an opening that was immediately offered to David. This job has been an incredible blessing to David. The crew is run as a mission, and indeed all the workers are service missionaries. They begin with prayers and even have scripture study during the breaks. David's boss is a sweet but firm woman who "speaks Down Syndrome." David had a hard time adjusting to the long hours and hard work, but still thrived in this environment. David has become a different person on this mission. He is happier, calmer, smarter, and more spiritual than I ever thought he could be. It has been eye opening to me to see the Spirit work on him.

Similarly, I was blessed with trainers, and mentors who helped me learn enough to be of some use here. I was skeptical about my computer skills, and complete lack of experience with family history, but the Lord qualifies whom He calls, and that promise is still being fulfilled. Next miracle was that we were assigned to the family search zone of the mission. I can't imagine a place where the Spirit is stronger, short of the temple. Here I am honored to work with some of the finest missionaries, young and old. I also get to meet and help people from all over the world who come here to connect with their families. Most of our patrons are not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but feel the Spirit of Elijah drawing them to their families. Although we are not allowed to preach the gospel, I feel the Spirit testifying to these patrons. Many of them are visibly moved and they all leave with a new appreciation for their families, and an understanding and tolerance of the Church and its people.

One of the greatest miracles has been our living arrangements. When we first applied, the mission census was high, and there was no missionary housing available. I asked if we could live with relatives, which was of course fine. We live very comfortably, and very cheaply, in my mother's basement. This has been such a blessing to all of us. What a joy to see my mother daily. I'm able to do a few things to help her out, but really we are so grateful to be enjoying her company and hospitality. As my interest in family history has grown, I have found her to be a ready source of information and perspective about my family. We are also able to attend the temple and other special events on temple square together.

A year ago, I couldn't have begun to see what the Lord had in mind for us. Our leap of faith has been rewarded a thousand times over.

Arrow

Over my long life I've had some significant relationships with fine canine friends. My childhood pet Pal was a terrier mix with one ear flopped and one up. He was smart as a whip and learned many fine tricks that won him ribbons and awe from visitors to our home. One rainy day when no one was being nice to me I went and joined Pal in his little dog house, among the fleas and black widows, planning to stay there until my family was panicked at my absence. He was a sympathetic ear, but the leaky roof eventually drove me in before anyone noticed I was away. Throughout my teen years he continued to be the one I could always talk to without being lectured or scolded.

As newlyweds in Nebraska, Sheldon and I adopted a tiny little black curly pup. Angela named her Daisy after a stuffed dog she had. Daisy had the world's best disposition for a family dog. She was sat upon, pulled by every appendage, and generally abused by our growing family, but never once bit or so much as bared her teeth at anyone. For many years I never found it necessary to buy dog food, because after every meal Daisy would be called in to clean up what my children threw/dropped on the floor. Remarkably that was enough nourishment to sustain our little friend until the kids were old enough to keep their food on their plates. I guess it didn't hurt her, because she lived to the ripe old age of 16.

When my husband Sheldon died I had a sweet old dog named Whitney. She was 14 at the time and didn't move as fast as she once did, but still managed to follow me where ever I went in the house. She would quietly lie down near me and doze until I moved from the room and then would just as quietly follow me to my new location. Her quiet presence was a constant in my life that kept me going. I got the idea that since Sheldon had never allowed dogs on our bed, that this was a perfect time to invite her up. She would have none of that. She knew too well that she wasn't allowed on the bed.

Not long after that, Christian got married and found his dog Arrow to be an unsuitable dog for young children. So my first "grandpuppy" came back to live in my house. Having been mostly an outside dog, Arrow had no preconceived notions about beds and was all too happy to sleep with me. He was huge, but would curl up beside me, his big head across my body, and sleep all night. What a comfort that big, hairy dog was to me when I needed a companion. Arrow had a constant smile on his face. He could bound across our yard in three strides, and often did just that to greet me. If I ever felt alone or unloved, Arrow was the cure.

Arrow died this week. When I got word of his passing, I went out and hugged my horse. I felt every muscle in his body tense as if he was wondering what had gotten into me. Horses are not dogs. You'll never get a horse to lick your face or sleep on your bed.

I don't know what the afterlife holds for dogs, but I surely hope it is worthy of the joy they bring to us here.

Odd

I worked with an unusual patron in the library last week. His name was Joseph, he was in his 60's and was traveling cross country on a Greyhound to a Veteran's mental hospital in Portland, Oregon. As he told me many times during our 2 hours together, "I'm messed up." Joseph came from a seriously disfunctional home. His mother and father married against the wishes of their parents when they were just kids. Dad was a seriously abusive drunk. Even sober he had very little to do with his family. The kids were afraid of their father and ignored by their mother. Joseph hadn't heard from or seen anyone in his family for 30 years. BUT HE STILL WANTED TO FIND OUT ABOUT THEM!

So we set out to learn what we could. Turns out Dad was dead. We found him in a veteran's cemetery in New Jersey. We found Dad's parents and later found him living with his grandparents. We were able to uncover enough pieces of the puzzle to satisfy something inside Joseph. I gave him the address and phone numbers of some family history centers near his home and in Portland and gave him copies of all the documents we had found. He told me as he was leaving that he thought maybe his dad was dealing with some mental issues of his own, and it looked like he had had a bit of a rough life himself. All the while I worked with Joseph I felt a very sweet spirit. I knew that the Lord was mindful of him and was helping him through the rough spots in his life.

I got to thinking about the people who come into our library. They come from all walks of life. Many are poor and humble of circumstance. Some are wealthy, here on ski vacations, or business conventions. A good number of them might be considered odd (like Joseph) anywhere else. We have a regular patron who has growths all over his body. We have another regular who likes to tell us he is Jesus' cousin and a close relation of Moses. We have one patron who weighs 400 pounds and comes in everyday. All have a hunger for family, which I'm beginning to think of as universal. At some time in each of our lives we find ourselves looking to the past, to connect and learn about the family that came before us.

On Mother's day a great gathering of my mother's posterity filled her living room. They gave gifts, ate cake, and then started asking her questions about her life, her mother's life, etc. Little children sat spellbound as she told them stories of their ancestors.

Odd or ordinary, we are children of God. He loves us. He has a plan for us, and a big part of that plan can only be carried out in the Houses of God, by His children, for His children. What a blessing to take part in this great Plan.

(PS Weather is still miserable, but the hope for Spring continues. Just a few photos of the flowers around temple square)

It is Springtime in my Soul Today

On April 29, 2010 I awoke to a world covered in snow. Again. You've got to be kidding me! Really, it was almost May and still we're getting snow. I went to work but was having trouble getting started, feeling almost depressed through most of the morning. The snow came down thick and hard through most of the day, which did nothing to lift my spirits. I think what happened is that I had let myself believe that winter was over and that warm weather, blossoms and sunshine were what I had to look forward to. It was my expectation that led to the depression, not the weather.

Thankfully, although the weather has remained miserable, the rest of the week has been wonderful. Thursday night was a spectacular event at the conference center, "A Celebration of Family History." David and I went and my mother was able to attend with us. The program was music by the MOTAB, special films of family history stories, a message from President Eyring, and an address by David McCullough, author and historian (1776, John Adams). It was an amazing evening full of inspiring music and words that had us alternately in tears and in stitches. It was also the first time I have ever been in the assembly hall of the conference center. What an impressive, massive room!

Saturday we were fortunate to attend the sealing of my sister Laurel's latest 3 daughters to their parents. This is the stuff of Eternity, and it never fails to inspire. The sight of that enormous family in that sacred place, being sealed forever, reminds me that we are part of an even bigger family, bound by covenants and promises that are more powerful than any force on the Earth, and through our Savior Jesus Christ we can all return to our Heavenly Home. Awesome!

Today after our services, my nephew Oati was ordained a priest. He asked his cousin David to stand in the circle of his ordination. I couldn't hold back the tears as I witness this special, righteous young man exercise his Priesthood.

I'm told that it may yet snow again before this endless winter expires. OK. It seems that there is much to keep us warm.