Christmas in November

I am not the person who decorates for each season or holiday of the year. While you may see a flag at my house near Independence day and a jack-o-lantern on Halloween, you won't see holiday specific decor celebrating my love for Valentine's Day, Arbor Day, Easter, or Thanksgiving. I will confess that the reason for this is mostly spatial. If I decorated for each special day I would need an additional 3-car garage to store the stuff in the off season. But Christmas is different. I love Christmas! I love the decorations, I love the music, I love the parties, I love the presents, I love the nativities, and I love the Spirit of Christmas! And so I decorate! I have about 15 large bins of Christmas decor in my garage as I write this. I suppose it will remain there this year, as I am 700 miles away. But I'm not feeling too bad about not having anything to decorate with this year. I'm working on temple square in Salt Lake City which has more twinkle per square foot than Las Vegas. It has beautiful nativities, the story of the first Christmas, and beautiful music, live and recorded throughout the day and night. Daniel and Kathryn came for a visit this week and we went to see the newly turned on lights on temple square. Wow!

38 years ago Dec 17th, my sweetie Sheldon chose this setting to pop the question and give me an engagement ring. It was spectacular then and is even more lovely now. I've been watching men in cherry pickers placing those millions of lights for the past 2 months, but seeing them all on at once, is a real thrill for this Christmas lover.

I'll never be one of those people who complain that Christmas comes earlier and earlier each year. It can't come too soon for me. Our Savior Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem! If that isn't cause for celebration, nothing is. Put up the lights, deck the hall, sing the songs, for Christmas is here again.

Sacrifice

I was prepared to sacrifice! I was going to grit my teeth and endure 18 months of missionary life because the Lord asked me to. The problem is that I'm having too much fun. I was counting on a little misery so I'd know I was really serving. So far, everything I've been asked to sacrifice is compensated for so greatly that I'm afraid I'm not earning any stars for my crown.

I was prepared to give up my social life. Bruce Willis wasn't answering my calls anyway. While I'm not going to find romance on the mission, I am working with the nicest bunch of people. I've met missionaries from all over the world who regardless of their circumstances (some would make you cry) just want to be of service and be a part of the great Redemptive Work. I meet people everyday who, religious or not, Christian or not, are touched by the Spirit of Elijah as they search out their ancestors.

I was prepared to leave my home. I was blessed to have my son's family be available to take care of my house. I am blessed to be able to live very comfortably in my parent's house, with all the comforts of home.

I was prepared to leave my kids and grandkids. I am blessed to have all the modern conveniences of travel and communication which have shrunk the distance between us. Phone, e-mail, texting, iChats, blogs, etc., keep me close to the ones I love. I also have been called to an area where many loved ones live, even a few cute nieces and nephews to give me my kid fix.

I was prepared to be miserable but I'm happier than I've ever been. The work that I do is a tiny, tiny contribution to the great work of the Church. Maybe less contribution than what I've done in the past, but it is incredibly satisfying. The Campus we occupy is basically the blocks around Temple Square in Salt Lake City. This is sacred ground and it is a thrill to walk these paths and feel the Spirit every day.

I wanted the Lord to be grateful for our service, but I can see He just wanted to bless us. Again!

As always we are destined to be (happily) unprofitable servants.

To Tie A Tie

When David was born the very sensitive pediatrician told us to take him home and love him. He said that David would do everything a normal child would do, only more slowly. Over the years I have learned never to say never where David is concerned. After multiple failed attempts to teach him to swim, we decided that was something he just couldn't do. While visiting family in Kansas, David's cousins taught him to swim. Wow! We wondered if he would ever learn to talk or to read, but again he surprised us.

Now, Sheldon always tied David's tie for him on Sunday morning. After Sheldon died David got his brothers to do it for him. After they married and left home he took his tie to church and asked one of the kind men at church to tie it for him. Now here we are on the mission, living in a house with no other brethren. I tried to do it but my knots were sloppy at best. This morning David came to me with his tie already tied. "Who tied your tie?" I asked him. "I did!" he replied. Thinking he was joking, I asked him to show me. The photo is the finished product. Now I don't know if there is another man in the world who uses this particular knot, but I thought it looked pretty good. A little thing, yes, but a reminder that David is not "done" yet. He is still learning and growing and that should be a lesson to me also.

David's mission job is to work in the Church Office Building cafeteria. It is hard work and a full 8 hour day. He rises each morning enthusiastic about going to work and being a missionary. Even with all his apparent limitations, David's potential is limitless. He is an inspiration to me.

I can do it, I think.

Last week was my first week in the Family Search rotation. Officially. Not in training. Still, there are many seasoned family search experts to call upon, so I'm feeling not quite confident, but not too terrified. I've met some amazing people and I've been able to be of a little help to some of them. There was a delightful couple from Alaska who were so excited about their search for ancestors. He was able to tie into lines that had a lot of work already done, and she was able to find several ancestors using the library resources. After a couple of days in the library, they were telling me how grateful they were for the help and how excited they were to continue the search back home. "This is such a cool place! I can't believe you all are here to help us, and for free!"

I was feeling pretty good about my little part in helping them. I was feeling like I might be able to be of some use here after all. While basking in this positive feedback the floor manager motioned me over to help a new patron. New to me only. She was a seasoned "genealogist" who used to work in the library. "I have a flash drive full of names that are ready for temple work," she explained. "I need to get them to 'temple ready'." I explained that we don't use "temple ready" anymore, but that I could help her with new family search. She turned to me with a look of pitying disdain, and replied, "That's what I hate about this place. They put people out here who don't know anything." Instant humility!

I called an old timer over who told her, "We don't use "temple ready" anymore, but I can show you how to use new family search. I went and licked my wounds.

Ready for a new week.

I never faced a new or difficult situation in my childhood without my Mom reminding me, "The hard is the good." It sounded like hogwash to me. Hard was bad by definition! Easy was good. Familiar was good. Fun was good. Over the years I began to understand what she meant. The best things in life require effort. They often require leaving our comfort zones. The best things sometimes demand an extraordinary sacrifice from us.
Each day as I bask in the incredible Spirt that surrounds the Family History Library, I am reminded that this mission is indeed one of the best things. And yes, it is hard! My brain feels ready to explode with all the things I'm needing to learn. So Mom was right.

Saturday my 91 year old mom went riding with me through a lovely wilderness area. It wasn't easy for her. She hasn't really been a horsewoman for many, many years. But as if to reaffirm her testimony that the hard is often the good, she rode with me, enjoying nature, the rare sunshine and the beauty of God's Earth.

Loss

Returning from school one day in my youth, I found my favorite tropical fish floating in its tank. What followed was a waterworks worthy of a professional mourner. My dear mother, who knew something about real loss, at first was sympathetic, then tiring of the weeping, reminded me that this was a relatively minor loss. "Save some tears for the real tragedies in your life," she gently scolded.
She was right of course. My subsequent 50 years have carried their share of sorrow, but I have learned that I will never become immune to loss of any size. I have lost a sister, a father, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousin, too many close friends, and hardest of all a beloved husband.
Last week one of our horses died. He was one I had spent a lot of time with, on the ground and in the saddle. Still, I have been amazed at how hard this has hit me. I frequently found myself in tears as I was going about my work. Seasoned Family History Missionaries sought me out to console me. "You'll get the hang of this Dear." "We all struggled with it in the beginning." I thanked them for their support, unwilling to admit that such a "minor loss" had me in such a state. Better to let them think that my lack of skill on the computer was breaking my heart.
I have come to learn that mourning our losses is an important part of the Human Experience. Having endured great loss doesn't make the day to day losses any less real. I have learned that mourning our losses, great and small, is not a sign of faithlessness. I have had too many real and beautiful experiences with those beyond this sphere of existence to question the eternal nature of life. Rather I believe that it comes down to feeling. We are built to feel--Joy and pain. My need to react to the pain of loss may be what allows me to feel the great joys of this life. My ability to mourn a fish or a horse may be what gives me the perspective to rejoice in the beauty and gifts of this life.
If it is true that our Creator wants us to know joy, then He also wants us to feel sorrow.