Loss

Returning from school one day in my youth, I found my favorite tropical fish floating in its tank. What followed was a waterworks worthy of a professional mourner. My dear mother, who knew something about real loss, at first was sympathetic, then tiring of the weeping, reminded me that this was a relatively minor loss. "Save some tears for the real tragedies in your life," she gently scolded.
She was right of course. My subsequent 50 years have carried their share of sorrow, but I have learned that I will never become immune to loss of any size. I have lost a sister, a father, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousin, too many close friends, and hardest of all a beloved husband.
Last week one of our horses died. He was one I had spent a lot of time with, on the ground and in the saddle. Still, I have been amazed at how hard this has hit me. I frequently found myself in tears as I was going about my work. Seasoned Family History Missionaries sought me out to console me. "You'll get the hang of this Dear." "We all struggled with it in the beginning." I thanked them for their support, unwilling to admit that such a "minor loss" had me in such a state. Better to let them think that my lack of skill on the computer was breaking my heart.
I have come to learn that mourning our losses is an important part of the Human Experience. Having endured great loss doesn't make the day to day losses any less real. I have learned that mourning our losses, great and small, is not a sign of faithlessness. I have had too many real and beautiful experiences with those beyond this sphere of existence to question the eternal nature of life. Rather I believe that it comes down to feeling. We are built to feel--Joy and pain. My need to react to the pain of loss may be what allows me to feel the great joys of this life. My ability to mourn a fish or a horse may be what gives me the perspective to rejoice in the beauty and gifts of this life.
If it is true that our Creator wants us to know joy, then He also wants us to feel sorrow.